Sunday, February 10, 2008

A Mystery that it is... or is it ???

Today, yet again, after a long time, I felt the urge to write. My Random thoughts, and my random ways of expression...

Mr. X and Ms. Y go on a Date...Romance...Giggle...Enjoy...Have fun...
But have u ever wondered about this – A DATE WITH YOURSELF?
How romantic could that be? You... and Your Solitude... Main and meri Tanhai...

I had a date with myself today. I pampered myself with emotions and emotions and emotions! I treated myself with chocolates and ice-creams and some pleasant memories. Expectedly, I did have some rash times also. And I had to fight with them, tell them “You-bad thoughts, Go away. I don’t want to be upset today”. But they refused to budge... They kept on teasing me again and again... the feelings – some sweet and sugary... some just as harsh and hard!

It’s said, an empty mind is a devil’s mind. Somehow, I choose to disagree. For me, The times I have given to myself remain the most special moments of my life. These are the times when I really look not just in the mirror but in some other world. And see something completely different...

I see...
A reclined flag... at the end... I need to go there and put is upright...
I see where I am presently...
Far off... very far from the flag...
So far that the flag doesn’t appear bigger than a small point.
On the way I see jumbo-sized stones..
Beside them I spot flowers... and a pathway alongside.
Masses of people are walking on it...
Shockingly, the road takes a turn in between...
The folks don’t know where they are going.
They just keep on moving, with no destination.
Reluctantly, I stand alone and watch them go away.
I have to step across those stones, throw them elsewhere...
Regardless of how heavy they may be...
I may get tired and to rejuvenate, I have those flowers...
They emit fragrance...
They tingle the energy inside me...
And I smile :-) :-)

I move on...to the next stone...
A yet bigger one...
But so is the flower...

The walk continues...
That dot far off – the flag- still remains as small as the dot...

I wonder... Will I ever really reach it?
I wonder... Is it actually there?
I wonder... Do I really want to reach it?

And then I say...
I don’t want to reach it... No, I don’t.
I don’t want this journey to end...
I don’t want to stop crossing the stones...
I don’t want to miss the freshness of flowers...
I don’t want to be silent, immobile- like those stones..
I would be like one, if I reach that flag!

I... want to keep moving...

I do....

“Richa... Richaaaa... RICHAAAAAA...”
My friends yell...
And I am zipped back to reality...
This is where I am...
With my friends... my world...
With my family... My everything...
With the people who made me who I am...
I feel blessed... I feel so lucky...
For a moment, I see no stones.
I see only love...
But for a moment...

Only for a moment!

This is what I am like... Weird... and this is what my life is... Weird!!
It remains a mystery... which can’t ever be solved...a never-ending perplex puzzle... We have to just let some things happen... have to let them go... and just be a silent spectator...We sometimes just have to be at peace with ourselves! And that happens, that really happens when you have a date with yourself!

I had one today...

A date... with myself !