EMPTINESS

A sudden change has come
Life seems to have come to a standstill
Abruptly, silence seems everywhere
Emptiness seems to crawl on me..

Unexpectedly I see an image
I am standing..
Shouting, begging, wanting …

I am waiting..
For someone to come..
For something to happen..

But its all the same.
I stand with my arms wide open..
A breeze blows..
It tells me that Girl, you are not alone..i am there..
It reminds me of God..
God is omnipresent..

I start crying out of solitude..
Sometimes silence is golden
Sometimes it kills.

Its killing me now..
Somehow I want somebody to come up to me
I want myself to smile
To watch the wonders of nature
To hear the giggles/shouts of humans..

But I am all alone..

As always..

I make a determination..
I have a sense of realisation…

Of the emptiness rampant in this world..

I want to reach the heights..
I want success..
I want support
I want guidance..

But life teaches me that…
Success never comes easy..
Success needs determination and positive proactive outlook
I have that..
But success sometimes leaves me alone..

It makes me distinct from others..
Yet. It also makes me distant from others..
These others are my beloveds..
I want they be with me..
But no..
In this race of life, I don’t think that..
Anybody else is gonna accompany me..
I have to live for myself..
I cant be OF anyone else..

It’s a rat race..
And I have to surge ahead !
I have no other option !

One thing is sure..
God will always bless me..
He would be there..
To fill up the gaps of emptiness
To cheer me up..
To make me feel better..
To make me a better person altogether..

Life is changing..
My life is completely moving towards a different direction
I see a pathway.. a journey…
I see no destination..

Yet the pathway is very enriching..
It is full of obstacles and awards and prizes and chocolates..
I have to walk through it..
I have to be more professional and selfish..
And keep getting my way !!!!

God, please make me selfish..
Please teach me that the world is not as sweet as it looks to me.

I think it will take sometime
But someday somehow
The realisation would surely dawn on me..
That its only me who can do anything for myself…
That DON’T EXPECT FROM PEOPLE
That DON’T HELP THEM UNNECESSARILY EITHER !